Lessons Learned

After the run to Portriti I felt good. Sure, I was nervous, and yes I may even have had a panic attack while trying to evade an interdiction attempt. But I made it to Portriti, I got my mission reward, and I managed to actually feel alive for the first time since Lyekka died. I still wasn't sure where I was going to go, or how I was going to feed myseklf, but I figured running courier missions wasn't a bad way to pass the time while I thought about it.

And so I picked up another mission that would take me back to LHS 3447. I vowed never to return to Worlidge, but I docked up at Trevithick and planned my next move. Hmm. OK There was someone wanting me to run another data package to Kremainn... I could do that. Not only that, but I had enough loose change to stuff my cargo bay full of rutile. I could make a tidy profit on this run. Off I set, with a few ideas forming in my mind.

Courier missions weren't really the most exciting thing. Oh sure, just flying again made me feel alive, and it was a world beyond fixing vending machines, but I needed more. I had a lot of anger in me, I STILL have a lot of anger in me, and I have some guns. Guns and anger usually result in death for someone, but I was determined to make sure it was someone who deserved it. There was just a few more things I needed before I could properly start bounty hunting.

I ended up in the Yakabugai nav beacon, awash in the glow of the great stars, when an Asp dropped out of supercruise right in front of me. I was only half paying attention to my scanners when they flashed up the red "wanted" message. Without thinking, I fired my burst cannons. He didn't seem impressed, but I didn't care. The gimballed mounts on the lasers kept them trained on him as I watched his shields gradually deplete. He looked panicked as he swerved left and right, but he couldn't get away. Then my ship computer gave me the cue to ramp it up: "target shields offline".

I span up my main cannons. They were nothing special. Fixed mount, bog standard kinetic projectiles, but I was so close that I barely had to correct my course. Round after round stabbed into his hull, his failed boost amounting to nothing as he desperately tried to engage his frame shift drive. But by thgis point he was as good as dead. The federal patrols had him in their sights and blasted him to dust. But I got a message. I had been awarded a 50,000 credit bounty. This line of work could be very lucrative it seemed...

Still, I wasn't going to hang around nav beacons all night. I needed to find some direction. I headed to the nearest dock, upgraded my cannons to gimbal mounts and accepted a mission that would take me across 9 jumps through effectively empty systems, all the way to Drevylada. Before I left however I bought one more piece of equipment: an FSD interdictor. This would allow me to force ships out of supercruise and finish them off if I needed to. Exactly what I needed to hunt my quarry.

The journey to Drevylada took me through several uninhabited systems. The whole way I stopped to scan the unexplored astronomical bodies; that data might be able to net me some quick cash when I get back to station. I also took a couple of photos. There's something pretty creepy about the looking mass of a brown dwarf star.

Two hops from my destination, I noticed a distress call. Encouraged by my previous success I decided to answer it. I mean, why not? I reckon it's about time I got to be a hero, right? That hubris was my first mistake.

My second mistake was to try to engage the three hostiles who waited for me as I dropped out of supercruise. I should have boosted away, spun up the FSD and get the hell out of there. But no. I was invincible, I thought. I can take these guys, I thought. They're only flying Eagles, right? I deplyed hardpoints, and engaged... and fifteen seconds later, my ship lay strewn acroiss the cosmos in a million pieces.

My insurance covered most opf the cost of the ship... but not all of it. I had to take out a 27 grand loan to cover the rest. Christ, it's like being a student again. They'll take ten percent of my earnings until it's all paid off. Still, I guess that's better than not having a ship...

To add insult to injury, ALL of my exploration data was gone, lost in the wreckage of my ship. I had 1,000 credits to my name and I was out in the middle of nowhere.

In times like these, I find the stars help me think. So of course, I flew out to the Drevylada nav beacon to try and work out where to go from here. And again, more criminals arrived. My guns were upgraded, and their ships were pretty basic. I spent a LONG time wasting petty pirates at that nav beacon, losing myself in the thrill of combat. When I headed back to the station I decided to claim my bounties. And I had over a hundred grand. I'd gone from practically nothing to a decent nest egg in less than an hour.

This was the point where I realised that this galaxy is whatever I want it to be. I can go anywhere I want. I can do anything. I have the mens to earn money relatively quickly in order to fund any exploration. And there's a HELL of a lot I have yet to see. I hardened my resolve. I was committed to the life of a nomad, a drifter, a wanderer of the stars. There's many many places I want to see, but there's one in particular that I have an interest in, based on the stories I have heard over the years. I heard you need permission to go there, but I can cross that bridge when I come to it. The system is 75 light years away, and it's going to be a long pilgrimage, but there will be adventure along the way, I'm sure of it.

I loaded up my nav computer, and plotted a course to the Sol system.

You can't go home again...

For the past six months I've been miserable. I've hung around Worlidge terminal, fixing vending machines for enough credits to pay for the vent space where I keep my sleeping bag, scavenging the odd sandwich here and there and just carrying out a fairly secure but boring existence inside this vast rotating tin can.

What the hell happened to me? I used to travel. I used to trade. I used to fight, damn it! My Cobra sits rusting in long-term storage. Every so often I'l go and sit inside her, feel the controls, close my eyes and remember the glory days. Why the hell did I give that up? Rhetorical question, of course. I know exactly why. Seeing your friend's life support fail and his ship implode when you're just metres from rescuing him can have a lasting effect.

But I've been thinking about that. Would he have wanted me to sit around wasting away on a coriolis out in the back end of Federation space? The more I think about it, the more I don't want to admit it. He would wnt me to be out travelling. I only ventured out in the Cobra once. One sortie. He'd be shouting at me if he was here. "What's the point in dropping half a mil on a ship to just have it sit there and do nothing?" he'd say. I can hear his voice saying it.

I'm sick of this place. I'm sick of the stale air and the taste of oil in the water. I'm sick of watching a thousand ships a day fly in and drop their cargo, or pick up passengers, before heading out into the unknown to places I've only dreamed. I'm sick of this consuming weakness I have which prevents me from just getting out there and exploring, and to hell with the risks.

So why the hell am I still here? I've got a ship. It's a decent ship. It's got guns. Not the best guns, sure, but I can defend myself. It's got cargo space. I've got a thousand credits saved up. I shouldn't be here fixing vending machines. I should be out there travelling, trading, seeing the universe. I should BE someone.

That's it. I've decided. This is the last vending machine I fix. There's a post on the bulletin board asking for a courier to take a data package to Potriti. 10 grand reward. I can do that. If I pick up some cargo I can make a bit on the side too. Once I get to Potriti I'll see who else needs my services. I don't know where I'll end up. But I do know one thing.

I'm never coming back here.