You can't go home again...

For the past six months I've been miserable. I've hung around Worlidge terminal, fixing vending machines for enough credits to pay for the vent space where I keep my sleeping bag, scavenging the odd sandwich here and there and just carrying out a fairly secure but boring existence inside this vast rotating tin can.

What the hell happened to me? I used to travel. I used to trade. I used to fight, damn it! My Cobra sits rusting in long-term storage. Every so often I'l go and sit inside her, feel the controls, close my eyes and remember the glory days. Why the hell did I give that up? Rhetorical question, of course. I know exactly why. Seeing your friend's life support fail and his ship implode when you're just metres from rescuing him can have a lasting effect.

But I've been thinking about that. Would he have wanted me to sit around wasting away on a coriolis out in the back end of Federation space? The more I think about it, the more I don't want to admit it. He would wnt me to be out travelling. I only ventured out in the Cobra once. One sortie. He'd be shouting at me if he was here. "What's the point in dropping half a mil on a ship to just have it sit there and do nothing?" he'd say. I can hear his voice saying it.

I'm sick of this place. I'm sick of the stale air and the taste of oil in the water. I'm sick of watching a thousand ships a day fly in and drop their cargo, or pick up passengers, before heading out into the unknown to places I've only dreamed. I'm sick of this consuming weakness I have which prevents me from just getting out there and exploring, and to hell with the risks.

So why the hell am I still here? I've got a ship. It's a decent ship. It's got guns. Not the best guns, sure, but I can defend myself. It's got cargo space. I've got a thousand credits saved up. I shouldn't be here fixing vending machines. I should be out there travelling, trading, seeing the universe. I should BE someone.

That's it. I've decided. This is the last vending machine I fix. There's a post on the bulletin board asking for a courier to take a data package to Potriti. 10 grand reward. I can do that. If I pick up some cargo I can make a bit on the side too. Once I get to Potriti I'll see who else needs my services. I don't know where I'll end up. But I do know one thing.

I'm never coming back here.